Do you feel like you have to find your dog or cat a new home? Please read the following before you make that decision. The author is unknown, but any shelter worker or rescuer could have written it. Remember, rescue is the voice of the animals.

Dear Mr. & Mrs. Average Pet Owner:

Thank you for contacting us (animal rescuers, shelter volunteers, and foster homes) about your inability to keep your pet. We receive an extremely high volume of inquiries and requests to accept surrendered animals. And none of us is getting paid. OKAY? To help us expedite your problem as quickly as possible, please observe the following guidelines:

1. Do not say that you are "CONSIDERING finding a good home" for your pet or that you "feel you MIGHT be forced to" or that you "really THINK it would be better if" you unloaded the poor beast. Ninety-five percent of you have already got your minds stone cold made up that the animal WILL be out of your life by the weekend at the latest. Say so. If you don't, I'm going to waste a lot of time giving you common sense, easy solutions for very fixable problems, and you're going to waste a lot of time coming up with fanciful reasons why the solution couldn't possibly work for you.

For instance, you say the cat claws the furniture, and I tell you about nail clipping and scratching posts and aversion training, and then you go into a long harangue about how your husband won't let you put a scratching post in the family room, and your ADHD daughter cries if you use a squirt bottle on the cat, and your congenital thumb abnormalities prevent you from using nail scissors and etc., etc. Just say you're getting rid of the cat.

2. Do not waste time trying to convince me how nice and compassionate you are. Your coworker recommended that you contact me because I am nice to animals, not because I am nice to people, and I don't like people who "get rid of" their animals. "Get rid of" is my least favorite phrase in any language. I hope someone "gets rid of" YOU someday. I am an animal advocate, not a people therapist. After all, for your ADHD daughter, you can get counselors, special teachers, doctors, social workers, etc. Your pet has only me and people like me to turn to in his or her need. And we are unpaid, overworked, stressed-out, and demoralized. So don't tell me this big long story about how "We love this dog so much. We even bought him a special bed that cost $50, and it is just KILLING us to part with him, but honestly, our maid is just awash in dog hair every time she cleans and his breath sometimes just reeks of liver. So you can see how hard we've tried, and how dear he is to us, but we really just can't. And it's for his own good. We're only thinking of the dog." BULLFEATHERS! You are not nice, and it is not killing you. It is, in all probability, literally killing your dog, but you're going to be just fine once the beast is out of your sight. Don't waste my time trying to make me like you or feel sorry for you in your plight. All I care about is your pet, and let me tell you your pet doesn't give a hoot about a big yard or more space or time. What your pet wants is YOU! You are his family. The hardest thing in a world to him is to not have YOU! Dogs do not understand how idiots can reward their perpetual faithfulness with abandonment. Neither do I!

3. Do not try to convince me that your pet is "different," exceptional, and deserves special treatment. I don't care if you have taught him to sit. I don't care if she's a beautiful Persian. I have a waiting list of battered and/or whacked-out animals who need help, and I have no room to foster house your pet. Do not send me long messages detailing how Fido just l-o-v-e-s blankies and carries his favorite blankie everywhere, and "Oh, when he gets all excited and happy, he spins around in circles. Isn't that cute? He really is darling. So it wouldn't be any trouble at all for you to find him a good home. What's just one more dog?" Listen, we can go down to the pound and count the darling, spinning, blankie-loving beasts on death row by the dozens any day of the week. And, honey, Fido is a six-year-old Shepherd-Lab mix. I am not lying when I tell you that big, older, mixed breed, garden variety dogs are almost completely unadoptable. I don't care if they can whistle Dixie or send semaphore signals with their blankies. What you don't realize is that, though you're trying to lie to me, you're actually telling the truth: Your pet IS a special, wonderful, amazing creature. But this mean old world does not care. More importantly, YOU do not care, and I can't fix that problem.

All I can do is grieve for all the exceptional animals who live short, brutal, loveless lives and die without anyone ever recognizing that they were indeed very, very special.

4. Finally, just, for pity's sake, for the animal's sake, TELL THE TRUTH and the whole truth. Do you think that if you just mumble that your cat is "high-strung," I will say, "Okey-doke! No problemo!" and take him or her into foster care? No, I will start asking questions and uncover the truth, which is that your cat has not used a litter box in the last six months. Do not tell me that you "can't" crate your dog. I will ask what happens when you try to crate him, and you will either be forced to tell me the symptoms of full-blown, severe separation anxiety or, else, you will resort to lying some more, wasting more of our time.

And, if you succeed in placing your pet in a shelter or foster care, do not tell yourself the biggest lie of all, "Those nice people will take him and find him a good home, and everything will be fine." Those nice people will indeed give the animal every possible chance, but if we discover serious health or behavior problems, if we find that your misguided attempts to train or discipline him have driven him over the edge, we will do what you are too immoral and cowardly to do: We will hold the animal in our arms, telling him truthfully that he is a good dog or cat, telling him truthfully that we are sorry and we love him, while the vet ends his life.

How can we be so heartless as to kill your pet, you ask? Do not ever dare to judge us. At least we tried. At least we stuck with him to the end. At least we never abandoned him to strangers, as you certainly did, didn't you? In short, this little old rescuer/foster mom has reached the point where she would prefer you pet owners to tell her stories like this:

"We went to Wal-Mart and picked up a free pet in the parking lot a couple of years ago. Now we don't want it anymore. We're lazier than we thought. We've got no patience either. We're starting to suspect the animal is really smarter than we are, which is giving us self-esteem issues. Clearly, we can't possibly keep it. Plus, it might be getting sick; it's acting kind of funny.

"We would like you to take it in eagerly, enthusiastically, and immediately.

"We hope you'll realize what a deal you're getting and not ask us for a donation to help defray your costs. After all, this is an (almost) purebred animal, and we'll send the leftover food along with it. We get the food at Wal-Mart, too. And, boy, it's a really good deal, price-wise.

"We are very irritated that you haven't shown pity on us in our great need and picked the animal up already. We thought you people were supposed to be humane! Come and get it today. No, we couldn't possibly bring it to you; the final episode of 'Survivor II' is on tonight."

Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Pet Owner, for your cooperation.

Author Unknown but could be any shelter worker or rescuer

Pictures on this page:

1. SISQO - UNWANTED/DISCARDED. His owners wanted him euthanized because "He sheds. The breeder did not tell us he would shed." Just a baby, they dumped him.

2. CASEY - UNWANTED/DISCARDED. Her owners put her in a kill shelter because their lifestyle changed (retirement) and Casey cramped their style. At age 15, they dumped her.

3. BELLADONNA - UNWANTED/DISCARDED. Her owners said she was a stray who was hit by a car in front of their house. We researched and found out it was all a lie. She was their dog. She had babies. They kept one of the babies. So they didn't want the mama dog anymore. Her duty was done. So they dumped her.

4. SMOKEY & POOH - UNWANTED/DISCARDED. Their owners put them in a kill shelter because they had a baby. The kitties became their Velveteen Rabbit, their toys of yesterday. Then Smokey was adopted and discarded AGAIN because guess what! The new family had a baby and didn't want the kitty any longer. Though his confusion was just beginning, his usefulness was over. So he was dumped.

5. KODEE - UNWANTED/DISCARDED. His owners decided he escaped the yard and ended up in jail one too many times. They refused the last time to pay the bail fee. Instead of putting their dog inside or getting him neutered to reduce his wanderlust, they discarded him. He was starting to cost them more than a bag of dog food every month or so. So they dumped him.

6. CHELSEA & BLITZ - UNWANTED/DISCARDED. Their owners moved and couldn't take them with him. He also lied and said, "I'll send you a donation." The dogs were thrown out with the trash.

7. PANTA MIME - UNWANTED/DISCARDED. Her owners moved and couldn't possibly take the cat who was a family member for six years. A stake through the heart might be less painful. Dumped by those who "loved" her.

8. JAKE - UNWANTED/DISCARDED. His owners thought he needed more space, more time. Jake didn't care. Jake just wanted his people. He didn't care if he lived in a one-room shanty as long as his mom & dad lived with him. His people said "We're doing it because we love the dog." Hogwash. If they loved the dog, he would be where HE wanted to be: with his family. Heard it all before. They couldn't be bothered. Dumped.

9. SKIPPY - UNWANTED/DISCARDED. This one we'll never know. The story was "Mom is having surgery. We can't keep her." It wasn't the truth, but we don't know what the truth was. They wanted her back when they realized we were getting her spayed. Once she was spayed, we never heard from them again. Dumped.

This is just a small slice of the pie. There are the hundreds of animals we couldn't save, such as the "lady" who called at 2:00 because she was moving at 3:00 out of state and her car couldn't accommodate both her dog and her children.

After reading this, ask a rescuer what they think of PEOPLE. We will all talk ad infinitum about our love for animals, but don't expect us to speak highly of those who discard the fabulous furries.